#20 Starkville, MS

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” – C.S. Lewis

Before I even packed up my car to head back to Mississippi this weekend I was uncomfortable. When I left there in May, I was really numb to the whole thing. Very few tears were shed and very little contact was maintained. It was as if when I left Mississippi, I kept that piece of my soul there. In fact, that is exactly what I did.

Going back this passed weekend validated for me that sometimes the answer is to leave it where you found it.

We do an extremely great job at basing our happiness off of circumstances. We blame our unhappiness and happiness on money, friends, career path’s, health, other people’s lives and anything else you can think of. Doing this puts us in a space of anxiety. It leaves us spiritually dry, always looking for the quickest escape.

Looking back to August that is exactly how all of these trips started. My happiness was circumstantial so if I couldn’t be happy where I was, then I had to do something to occupy my mind. You should know, this way of living is a black hole. While yes, it is attainable; you will drive yourself crazy trying to escape… just to come back to the same feeling.

So, here is what I have learned by moving to Florida and then moving to Texas. Your spirit wants to be happy just as desperately as you do. There are pieces of our soul that just desires to be in a place of contentment.

I spent a lot of time sad this past weekend. Not for anyone or for anything but just because I allowed myself to live in that spiritual emptiness for months without even noticing.

I am not saying that everyone should pack up and move. I realize that isn’t realistic and isn’t always the answer. What I am saying is that it isn’t fair to yourself or your spirit to live in a life that you are constantly running from.

These trips began as a means to cope. They helped me through some of the longest and most difficult months of my life. But, with only three left I can tell you that some doors are better left closed.

Ridding of toxicity is scary. Whether that is your job, your friends, your family, your relationship or your location. Standing up for your own life is one of the bravest things you can possibly do. But when you learn to do it and you take a stand for your own spirit, well, that’s when true happiness kicks in.