#21 Tulsa, OK
"I am a person who believes in asking questions, in not conforming for the sake of conforming. I am deeply dissatisfied with so many things." - Chimamanda Adichie
Trip 21 and 22 were a two-fold trip. I took a 36-hour stop in Tulsa, explored the city and then continued to make my way to St. Louis. These trips were two of the greatest trips I have taken. It was full of rest, wine, great company and amazing lessons.
I want to keep this first section of the blog simple. On Friday morning in Tulsa I was chatting with my mom about all the current events taking place. As many of you know, this stuff breaks my heart. I can’t imagine the world without the blue and black lives really do matter to me. So there really is no side I feel comfortable picking and I am okay with that.
But, quickly into the conversation we drifted off to the same common denominator. It’s not people that are killing people. It is stereotypes that are killing us all. Just one day later, I got to experience what it is like to over come this and it comes down to one basic principle, just ask.
As we were wandering around the winery on Saturday I noticed a woman setting up a cheese stand. She looked to be about 35 and either practicing Amish or Mennonite religion. How could I tell? Well, I really couldn’t but her hair was pulled back and in a bun cover. Her skirt was floor length and she was very modest.
We chatted for a few minutes and as I walked away I started speaking to another girl, specifically I said, “I wonder if they are Mennonite or Amish…”
If I am being honest I make assumptions based on peoples appearance more than I am willing to admit. But, something was different about this situation. I quickly exited the conversation I was in and decided to go ask her. What an idea, just simply ask her!
I didn’t hesitate or even stutter asking, before I knew it the words “are you Amish or Mennonite” flew out of my mouth. It could have been the 3 glasses of wine I had just downed, there really is no telling.
She laughed and said “neither, I went to a Mennonite church for a few years about 2 decades ago. I just respected their reasoning behind the way they dress. I am just a Christian… I go to a non-denominational church in downtown St. Louis.”
Needless to say, I was way off! But by looking at her there is no way you would have known this and I think that is what is going on in the world. We are looking at people and basing their lifestyle, motives and intentions on how they look. Forgetting to do one very simple thing, just ask.
Most of the time people aren’t afraid to talk about who they are. After all, they are the only ones who can tell their own story. It’s silly that we don’t take the time to find out.
I am not asking you to talk to every stranger you meet. But what I am asking is before you turn about and discuss a person with someone. Before you blatantly look at one person and create in your mind who you think they are, just ask.
