#14 Tampa, FL

"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something deep inside of you greater than any obstacle." - Christian Larson

This weekend was pretty emotional for me if we are being completely honest. I knew going there that this trip was going to be different. I have known for a few months that this was where my next stepping stone lied.

Let me tell you, I have never been to Tampa before. But, just like Starkville, I had an urge in my intuition that this was my next stop. I have great news, I was dead on. I love this place, I fit there, it is definitely where I want to be.

Aside from all that, I experienced some pretty raw emotions this week. I don't want people to think that my trips are all fun and crazy. I have seen and done some miraculous things on my adventures. But, in the midst of all these amazing things. I have had to conquer some pretty serious demons when it comes to my own destiny. A lot of my trips include tears, frustration, and a ton of soul searching. This weekend was no different. Let's talk about these raw emotions.

I am going to use this example, and it sounds rather far fetch. But, here me out. Before my grandfather passed away he had some serious health issues. His body wasn't functioning properly, he had serious dementia, and over all his quality of life just began to unfold before me. When the Earth and he broke up and he scooted up to heaven, it was really hard and I miss him a lot. Sometimes I miss him so much it will bring me to tears, which brings me back to laughter. Him being gone doesn't make me wish he was back on Earth. He was miserable, he was losing all control over the only thing he knew; himself. What I am getting at is this a never ending cycle of missing him, pressing forward, missing him, and then again pressing forward.

You probably relate to that, right? For the sake of this blog, I am going to assume yes.

On Thursday throughout my drive, I found myself thinking about my ex-boyfriend. This doesn't happen all that often to be honest. I was asked about him by a friend the day before, so the topic was rather fresh in my mind. Late into Thursday night and Friday I found myself just missing him. I have done this before, and quite honestly I still think back at my relationships in the 7th grade and I am like "wow I wish that could have worked". You guys.... I was 12 and I still miss parts of relationships I was in.

Now, in all seriousness I love my life. I am ecstatic about the decisions I have made and ultimately the path I am on.

But just because I enjoy my time, and I don't want to go back. Doesn't mean I am not allowed to miss him... or anyone for that matter. I think, as humans, we try to avoid this feeling as much as possible. We are looked at in a crazy way for missing someone we used to date or be great friends with. How dare you miss someone you used to spend so much time with! What's wrong with you? (See how dumb that sounds?)

So here is your permission: It's okay to miss someone and continue to run like hell on the path to a better version of yourself.

I look at the last 2 years and how drastic my life has altered. Two years ago, there were no 23 trips while I am 23. No move to Florida, no Marketing Manager job, none of this was on my agenda. In fact, had I of followed my own agenda, I totally would have missed this! And that would have really sucked.

I guess what I am getting at, is here is some encouragement for anyone missing someone. Whether it is someone alive or dead. An ex-boyfriend, ex-friend, family member, job... whatever it may be.

Allow yourself to miss them, but don't stop running like hell.

Don't allow missing someone to slow down your pace. And most definitely don't stop to look around. There is no going backward when you make the bold move to run forward. There is simply one motion and one motion only. This might not be graceful, you may fall a few times, you may get lost every now and then. But, just keep going.

Nose to the ground, hair pulled back, run, and run hard. Miss people, but don't stop.