#11 Shreveport, LA
"In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again, some you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder, if they think about you. And then there are some, you wish you never had to think of again. But, you do."
What happens when you invest in someone for months or even years. And when it comes down to it, they don't come through?
I think that question has always resonated in my soul a little too deep. When I look at my past relationships, they ultimately ended because the standard I held them to and where they resided, were completely different things.
This doesn't end as you begin adulting. In fact, I feel like it get's worse. I have been on both sides of this. I don't think there is a better or worse side of this equation to be on. One side is going to leave you feeling a tad bit guilty and the other side is going to leave you very confused.
I wish I could say that is where this article is going, but it's not. This is fresh in my soul, a recent experience I had. For the first week I trouble shooted this in my brain. I tried to find the malfunctions. I can't find them. I have been mentally working my last trip out for 8 days and I am going to be straight and say, I don't know. But, when I started looking at the last 6 months and how much I have thoroughly enjoyed investing in someone that I had no intentional future with
It’s like getting on the road with no map (or phone) and no idea where you are going. This seems like a crazy idea to most millennials. It is. But, this is also a ridiculous thing we do in our relationships. Think about it. When you first go on a date with someone it is practically like an interview. We try to dig up as much information as we possibly can, as quick as we can, so we can make a decision to ghost or stay. Realistically, by doing this we miss out on some awesome conversations. We never get to fully know someone because we are more focused on our mental marriage checklist. Investing in someone without a secondary agenda forces you to stay where you’re at (mentally speaking).
Just like any other relationship in your life, it comes with risk. It gives someone that you know won't stick around, access into your life. As human beings we are terrified that people are going to leave. We cried as toddlers when our parents dropped us off at pre-school, in high school we did almost anything to fit in, as adults we pick and pull ourselves for the right job, the right relationship, and just about anything else that could possibly make us feel whole.
But, feeling whole isn't about having all our ducks in a row. It's not about being 5 steps ahead nor is it understanding exactly what is taking place. The wholeness comes when we can learn that today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow. And when they coincide that is awesome, but if they don't, that's okay too.
Learning to invest in someone with no return, is like jumping on the highway without a road map. There are a lot of ways it could go and a lot of places you could end up. But it's not about where you are going, it's about where you are right now.
“Vivamus pellentesque vitae neque at vestibulum. Donec efficitur mollis dui vel pharetra.”
