Do It Again
A few months ago, I really began struggling with my nutrition and discipline. These are two areas of my life that over the last 7 years, I have worked hard to become diligent and consistent in. This year however, has been a complete uphill battle. Over and over again I have found myself doing the minimum out of chore and not taking care of myself by choice.
If I have learned anything over the last year, it's that the battles I face are much better left in the Lord's hands. So I decided to take Him this. It seemed silly to me at first and if I am honest, sometimes it still does. I know the Lord loves my ugly prayers but these prayers were just weird. I've prayed for things like healing, peace, and understanding but I had never prayed that God would give me the discipline to eat better. I had never prayed that God would keep certain foods out of my path on days when I was lacking self-control. These prayers were weird but I was desperate and this was all I knew to do.
One morning, as I was working through these prayers I couldn't help but reflect on the years I spent in marathon training. I thought about the early mornings and cold, crisp, air resting on my nose. Most importantly, I thought about my discipline throughout these years and how much joy long runs gave me. In the midst of these prayers I heard three words. "DO IT AGAIN." (Psalm 129:6b).
Hesitating in fear, I thought back to my last race. I had just come off of my 4th race for the year and in mile 2 of 13.1, an injury that went unaddressed left me unable to run and I was forced to walk the entire race. A race that had always taken me less than two hours, took me over four hours and was followed by eight months of strenuous physical therapy. I was released to run in January of 2015 and since then, I have always stayed at a safe three mile run.
As I began to think about running further, my mind immediately retreated back to the last time I was hurt. If I'm honest guys, I was scared to even begin again. I didn't want to get my hopes up in the beginning, only to get hurt again in the long run (pun intended). As I took this fear to The Lord, I heard those same three words, "DO IT AGAIN." (Psalm 129:6b).
Over the last few weeks, I've been adding a mile at a time but this morning, as I set out for seven miles, I chose to run eight. Throughout each mile this morning, I could hear The Lord whispering to me, "You can't do this but I can. Just keep moving forward B, just do it again.” When I finished running this morning, I couldn't help but think about this same fear that lingers in so many areas of my own life.
Whether I was wounded by a person, experience, or event, the fear of it happening again subconsciously lingers in my mind. More times than I realize, I have lived in fear of another panic attack, another break up, another move, another church, another opinion, or another injury. This same fear, ultimately robbing me of the joy The Lord intended for me to have.
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I don’t know what fear you’re facing. I don’t know what you’re terrified to begin because you don’t know how it will end. But here is what I know the Lord would whisper in your ear…
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"Do it again. I know it didn't go as planned last time but remember, I make everything perfect in it's time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) If you feel like you can't do it, it's because you can't. But, I can. (Philippians 4:13) So get back up and try again. It doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to make sense. You don't have to begin with an end goal in mind, you just have to begin. Make the choice to run the race that I have set for you and run it well. (Hebrews 12:1-3) You can't do this but I can. So, do it again. (Psalm 129:6b)